Sea Side Scrap Book » 7 Funny Wedding One-Liners

7 Funny Wedding One-Liners

When did people start giving wedding toasts? Any idea? It wasn’t until recently. That surprises many people. In spite of the recency of the tradition, the tradition seems to have taken hold. And now many people within the wedding party are expected to give toasts. Toasts can be solemn or funny. And they’re a great chance to wish the couple well.

But when YOU are the one slated to give a toast, that can make for a week’s worth of nerves. Should it be short or long? Should it be funny or solemn? Should you talk about just one of the parties, or both? How do you start? How do you finish? And so on.

You might need to do a longer toast than what you’ll find here, but here are some great one-liners, just to get you started.

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1. Marrying is all about just obtaining a piece of paper. Divorcing is just obtaining another ~Celeste Tan

2. Getting married for the fringe benefits is like buying a shirt for one of the buttons.

3. Want to remember your wife’s birthday. Forget it once, and you should have no trouble remembering the next time.

4. “Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.” -Cass Daley

5. If you see a man open the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car . . . or a new wife.

6. Marriage is like a phone call when you’ve been sleeping. First there’s the ring. And then you wake up. -Evelyn Hendrickson

7. A happy man is one who can make more money than his wife spends. A happy woman is one who can find such a man.

Use these alone, or weave them into a longer toast. Or don’t use them at all. Just use them to get yourself thinking along the right lines. You’ll do great! If you’re a guy, you’ll leave the bridesmaids swooning. If you’re a girl, you’ll leave everyone crying happy tears.

For more interesting wedding toasts, visit organized registry